i don't wait just because i want to wait, i wait because i find it worth the while and feel that the fate is still here.
i don't cry for you just because you're not mine anymore, i cry because i feel happy having you(in the past).
i really wished i never had a hearet to love at all, i can't take all these dont-leave-me kind of thing anymore.
i'm too afraid, not that i don't dare to face reality, but the phobia of losing someone is too great, i can't overcome it.
i tried too many times, i failed too many times. these failures bring me down, and my fear grows bigger.
how am i to let go of you? how am i to forget you?
you don't know how i feel inside of me, you will never know.
i may look fine on the outside, but i'm not, i have many things bottled up inside of me.
i want to tell you how much pain i'm in, but i'm afraid you won't listen.
i'm afraid of you, i'm afraid you would leave me(as a friend).
i too afraid of just everything, how can i overcome this fear?
please, i need you to be here, to help me, to hold me, to love me once again.
yes, i must be dreaming again.
but i really hope one day, dreams will become reality like how i dreamt of you becoming mine(which really came true).
i just need another fucking chance, won't you just fucking give it to US!
i hate you, i hate you for the way you've treated me.
but i know, i love you more than i hate you, because i love you for who you are.
no matter how mean, how cruel you may be to me, you know i'll love you still.
so stop doing such things to be because you're hurting me deeper and deeper.
i just want to "hao hao ai ni", can't i?
maybe you won't like the idea, but i only wish you would allow me to do that.
you don't have to worry abou to my happiness, because my happiness is loving you.
i don't want to have to look for another one, because i don't want to have to lose someone i love again.
so please, let me be there for you.
i wanted to tell you how much i love you, but i didn't dare to
i was afraid, afraid of the truth, even when i knew what's the truth
you said...
"fate comes and go very quickly. it brings two person together, though it maybe not be a complete one, but there will still be sweet memories."
yes, i do agree
and i know we belong to those which will never be complete again
told you that i never regretted loving you
and thanks for the times you've given me too
but, deep down my heart
i want you back so much so much
more than the tears i shed for you
but i never had the courage to say it to you
because i know, you want me to carry on with life
i did, i tried, but failed
my heart returns to you in the end
i don't hope but i believe
i believe in us, in fate, in God
that someday we'll be together again
one day, in the future, in my dreams (i guess)
i know, i know we can, we can be together
but there're somethings which stops us
maybe i don't have the "fu qi" to have you
or is it that we're not fated to be together
i wonder, i really wonder
do you really feel nothing for me when i've done so much for you
and is it really useless to have done so much
this question has always been in me
"why did we break up?"
was it my fault or yours?
but i guess it was my fault
i was told that i controlled you too much
i was too sensitive, too possessive
we could have worked things out
but it's all too late now, you'll never return
and your love for me, has gone like the wind
you make me whole.
noroy
without you, it's a no and it simply means NOthing to me
noroy
and with you, my life is incomplete.
«««º°(¯`n.O.r »-(¯`v´¯)-» r.O.y´¯)°º™»»»
maybe you don't, maybe you do
it was our day, the day we got together
the day we became each others'
i wish for you to return, but i doubt you will
not a word from you, not a call from you
not even a message sent
it hurts so much that i have to bear with this pain
what hurts me most is when you're right beside me and i can't tell you "i love you"
my heart is crying out for you but you never seem to respond to this call
you never came to tell me "everything's fine now"
i needed you so much yet you were nowhere to be found
i want to feel your love again, i want to have you back
don't want to be alone, living in fear
want to have your TLC, feeling so loved by you
looking back on the past, i start thinking
"will you ever leave me?"
"will you still love me till tomorrow?"
"and even if you do leave, will you return?"
thoughts of you just run pass my mind and i start to tear
slowly, my tears roll down my cheeks
waiting for you to return and wipe them away for me
but, you never seem to return
the longer i waited for you, the further you went away
"why does this always happen to me?" i ask myself
the one i love, always leaves me
everytime this happens, the pain is unbearable
all i ask for is for you to return and love me once again
to God i pray, i hope my wish will come true
that's all i ask for, baby i love you
eyes of hers may not view this
but, mouths around may bring this to her ears
[[me\\you]] one year.
can i even call you to tell you that
i need you here with me
cos' it's been too long, i can't take it anymore
i'm crying out for you every night
my heart is shattering every moment
i need you, i miss you, i love you
baby i want you back, i really want you back
but why are you doing this to me
why does it has to be me
why can't you choose someone else
you're hurting me deeply and i can't take it
my heart's crying out like it has never cried before
where are you is what i have been asking
are you ever gonna come back is what i'm thinking
you to love me is what i yearn for
i'm thinking of you even when you're right beside me
i can't even tell you a simple "i miss you"
because it's of no use
would you feel the same
would you hold me close and tell me it's alright
would you come back if i asked you to
you'll never love me the way you did in the past
you'll never step into my life again
never will you come back no matter how much i do
i can never touch your heart again
because it's in someone else's hands now
someone who needs you more than i do
and i hope you have not chose the wrong person
baby please be fine
that's all i need you to be
baby, I love you.
you may not see this, but you may hear about this.
i don't care how you feel, but i just hope you'll appreciate it!
[[6th June //clubbing//]]
Met Dex and Eugene to head for town. Met Carrie and Roy at town. All of us accompanied Eugene to cut her hair. Then, movie, Phone Booth, nice show. Had dinner after the show, then to meet PeiShan and headed for monks. Songs that night sucks! Most of us stopped dancing around 130. Went for supper at around 215. Haha. Comical! "Ge Qiang You Er!" LOL. //winks at Diana// After supper, headed for TOILET! Haha, needed to use the loo. Hmms, tonned at Fullerton//Esplanade. Went home around 7+.
[[8th - 10th June //chalet//]]
First night was fun! Haha. Luckily I bought sweet, that girl was looking for it. =) Don't talk about the afternoon, haha. Childhood times. //shy// At night was drinking and //evil laughs// haha. //winks at Carrie, PeiShan and HuiWen// LOL. Although most of us GONE quite early, but it was fun lars. =) I was thinking straight, but I don't really know what was I doing, so I thought it was the best time to give her the things. Walked upstairs, crawled to the room and crawled to the other room and passed her the things and I ended up lying on the floor. Haha. Like whatever. =X //sighs// Then fell sleep around 3+. Poor her, she had mosquito bites. =/
Woke up around 5+ the next morning, cleared up the place, was really in a mess. Place filled with soiled tissues and unused tissues. LOL. Used by Carrie, Timmy and I. Haha. //whatever// But a really BIG sorry to Roy, HuiWen, PeiShan and Ryan, troubled them to take care of the drunkards. LOL. Timmy and Carrie woke up, and ate breakfast. Haha. Around 8+, I was feeling hungry and decided to microwave the prawns! LOL. Ok, finished the first plate. Roy and Timmy said "Help me make can!?" Then I was like, "Ok lars ok lars!" LOL. So unwillingly. =X Haha. But I still made right, happily they ate. BULLY ME! //laughs// But still, Timmy felt hungry so all of us went out to eat. Had Mee Rubus. =) Nice. Went back chalet and played murderer, AGAIN!? Haha, back to childhood. Nevermind. That Roy and Eugene expressions NEVER change no matter what they get, murderer, detective or commoner. Haha. Silly. Ohh yaa!!! They don't know how to WINK! Haha. No lars, they know, but they looked as if they're blinking. Haha. Stopped as the faggots decided to smoke. Hmms, I think Roy is mad. Nono, she IS mad. Goodness! I was lying on the bed laid beside the windows, and Roy decided to point her middle finger at me from outside. I woke up and was like, "WTF!?" LOL. She tried to hide but too bad, I still could see her. Haha. That girl is mad. I used MY middle finger and pointed back at her saying she's MAD!? And still she cannot stop laughing!? //faints// I looked at Dex and both of us concluded she's MAD! LOL. After they came in, most decided to sleep. LOL. So one of them was ME lars. //pig -oinks- // Slept till 130. Woke up because of the noise that the others were making in another room. //blahh// Went in scold them, but ended up in their room too. Haha. =X Left PeiShan in the other room sleeping. Poor girl had to tolerate with the noises made. Hmms, started bbq at around 430, 5. I bbq-ed and people ate. //sighs// Didn't really eat much. Most of our side ended up in the room at 7+. Listened to what? TECHNO. All thanks to Roy huh. LOL. That poor girl didn't get to listen to her techno for the past two days. LOL. So all of us allowed her loh. //covers ears// Haha. Nahh, actually techno not so bad, but a little noisy loh, that's all. Haha. But still, techno sucks lers. =X I bathed and so did Roy, Timmy, Eugene and Terry did. Went downstairs as they were hungry. See lars! Bully me again. BBQ-ed for them, happily they ate. =) Place was cleared by 9+. Left those who were staying over. PeiShan, Thunder and I was in the room counting the hearts I made for her. Left 214 only? One was missing. //sighs// Nevermind. =) Hmms, 12+ 1 all in the room. Drank again, this time ONLY Whisky. For goodness sake, SO DAMN BITTER!? =X All laughing at me. Haha. //tskk// And all went to sleep around 3+ 4. Woke up at around 715. Cleared up the place, packed the things. Almost 8, all was awake le. Packed up their things, 9+. All ready to go home. Was at the lobby. Tried my best to get the straws to make the LAST heart and yes, I did it. =) "An Xin De Hui Le Jia."
Slept, woke up with a message from her saying, "Thanks alot for the present, really thanks." Hmms, it doesn't matter if she did or did not say thanks, all I ask for is for her to appreciate whatever I have done for her, and yes, thank God, she does. =)
Now I only wish for her to get HER back.=) Wishing them happiness and all the best, giving them my blessings and wish they could last. I know she can get her back, it's only whether she wants to or not. =) I hope she will and she can. What's best for her, is the best for me. Whatever she does, I will always be behind her supporting her. =) Hope this time she will really treasure HER and never ever letting HER go again. =)
I just want thank,
Roy
Eugene
Timmy
Terry
Carrie
HuiWen
Dex
PeiShan
for making this chalet so wonderful. =) //big big group huggles// I'm looking forward to such gatherings again, at least it brings all of us closer each time. =) Love you all. And sorry to those names were left out, too lazy to list out. Sorry. But I am sure we did enjoyed with each other too ya. =)